aha

at precisely this time, a month ago, i would be playing with the thought of giving it another shot (literally and figuratively).

and 3 hours after that, i would've made that shot count. and i did.

so, despite all of these could've-would've-should've's, i don't feel like i owe you anything. you can't even say that i "didn't try" because i did. "don't care enough" no longer applies as your reason because it no longer holds weight over me. 

if you're not here to apologise, then please don't taint our memories and occasions by using them as fodder for manipulation. i'm more disappointed (than surprised) that you would regard us this way. i'm trying hard as it is to understand you and your circumstances, to excuse you for the things that you do and your warped sense of reality. I'm trying to rationalize all of these and move along. But you just make it downright difficult. I can't believe people can do these to someone they claim to have cared about.

I'm surprised at how heartless some people can be.