how my mother says she's already got my life all read out and the consensus is that it's "smooth-sailing" for me. as long as i work, my life would be smooth-sailing. the man appears at work or because of work. the career advancements somehow just happen. and i live this smooth, fulfilling life until age catches up to me and then i'll die as smoothly as i came.
... and i don't consider any of this very smooth? am i behaving like a spoilt brat then, for thinking that my life hasn't been as smooth as their cards claim - and that the lack of emotional response i have to our current family situation has only been brought about by repeated disappointments, the enabling, the reinforcement of nonsense and lies we have wrung in our desperation to lead a normal, image-worthy lifestyle for the world to see.
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